Say What?

The conversation at the Dr's office went something like this:

Doc: How are you today?

Me: I'm good. (Stupid question).

Doc: I see here you are having some problems with your leg.

Me: Yep. I hurt it running.

Doc: Can you show me where it hurts?

Me: (Standing Up) Right here, points to thigh about 4 inches down from groin.

Doc: Does it hurt when sitting or lying down?

Me: Nope, only when I put pressure on it.

Doc: Any swelling, bruising, lumps?

Me: Nope

Doc: OK let's have you up on the table, lie down and let me examine your leg.

Me: (Hops up on table, well clambers)

Doc: Does this hurt? (pressing where it hurts)

Me: OW!! Yes! (I told him that's where it hurts WTF?)

Doc: You've torn a muscle. No running for 4 weeks.

Doc: (Eyes gorgeous high heels) And no wearing heels for 4 weeks.

Me: Wha??? (blank stare and lots of blinking)

Doc: You're throwing your balance off and it will heal slower.

Me: And slower isn't good?

Doc: No, and neither is more pain. You need to ice and heat it and take it easy, and i'll email an RX to your pharmacy for some anti-inflammatories. (Email my RX fancy pants!)

Me: K. (Sulking like a small child)

Doc: Come and see me if it gets any worse. And stay off those heels!

Me: (Already stomping halfway down hallway muttering Ow, ow, ow ,ow like a mad woman as best I can so I don't answer).

I knew he would do that, not to mention he's all hi-tech now wheeling around a lap top on a stand like some kind of old person. Oh and he types with one finger too, which is REALLY annoying because my appointment should have taken half as long as it did, I almost pushed him off of his stool and asked him to dictate. He also looks down a lot, if only I had kept my feet tucked under me and slipped off my shoes while he examined my leg (hits self in forehead with palm). Stupid, Stupid girl! Oh and at the rate he types I'll get my RX sometime next week. In fact he's probably still typing as we speak.